Widow Balls 2.0: rant, context, self control

In case you like to be properly warned. This blog is part rant. But it's also part love, part vocabulary education, with a funny story added in to balance it all out.

I was out for my walk the other day and for some reason started contemplating the definition of widow balls. This amazing widow term was coined by the equally amazing Michelle Miller, see meme below. My thought process ended with, "Shit, I don't think Redneck (my suicide widow sista) and I have been using the term true to its Miller definition. I better look it up." So I did. And I found the purple meme before I found the teal meme. And then I was pissed.

Be a decent human. Don't steal shit.

I remember getting requests from Miller early in my widow days. Repeatedly. She's incredibly persistent. I'm typically very guarded in who I accept on social media and I had no idea who this "mouthymichelle" crazy widow bitch was. And why wouldn't she stop requesting me to like and follow her?!? When I finally caved I immediately regretted not doing so earlier. And so began my infatuation with her.

So I was super annoyed when I saw this knock off meme which I knew right away was Miiller's definition and had no credit given to her. Who the fuck did this person think they were?!? I felt this "mama bear" protective instinct to stand up for Miller. Maybe someone already informed my fellow suicide widow about this...I hope so. As a new blogger I was admittedly shocked. Basic human decency rules should also apply online, don't steal shit.

Respectfully request to add an alternate definition.

Back to my walk and contemplating the widow balls definition. Sure enough, Redneck and I have not been using Miller's definition appropriately. But then I thought, "hey, dictionaries have alternative definitions for words, and words with more than one meaning. Maybe widow balls can be like real dictionary words."

So today said Redneck and I set about to propose an alternative widow balls definition. To properly represent the way we had been using it lately. See meme below.

So in dictionaries they usually give an example of the word used in a sentence. For the purposes of proper representative use in this situation a short story or two are better for providing context.

Example 1: you are mowing the grass and the lawn mower breaks. You get angry that late husband is not available to assist with lawn mower repair. You take the lawn mower apart yourself and through tears of anger and sadness you fix that fucker yourself. #widowballs

Context and self control.

Example 2 comes with a #therapymoment where I was pretty damn proud of myself for displaying some self control. My filter worked for a change. Set the scene: I had just shown up at the flip and was hauling my huge ass mitre saw out to work on this deck project when a passerby started to chat...note it was getting late and I had been busting my ass all day. So I wasn't in the best of moods. This makes my display of self control even more note worthy.

Passerby: what are you working on now?
Me: I'm going to redo the deck.
In my head: what the fuck does it look like?

Passerby: by yourself?
Me: yep.
In my head: what the fuck does it look like?

Passerby: where is your husband?
Me: working.
In my head: well the one that has me working two jobs to support my family is dead, the other one is working to also help me support my family.

Passerby: and you're ok to do all that?
Me: oh ya. No problem.
In my head: fucking right I am. I've been at this remarried widow gig for awhile. My #widowballs hang down past my ankles if I take off my granny support panties. Move along.

As you can see from the "almost after" picture #igotthisshithandled

And I bet you're as proud of me as I am of myself for exhibiting some self control!!

Before

Almost After

#therapymoment
#therapyiseverywhere
#widowballs
#hopemillerlikesthealternatedefinition